Insights and Reflections

Ms Pelicot became known to the public as global media coverage disclosed a shocking and unbelievable story of abuse orchestrated by her then husband. She was the centre of France's largest rape trial waving her anonymity and having an open trial. On many levels she represents a beacon of hope by choosing to move forward with her life in a positive and meaningful way, and above all allowing herself to trust and love again.

Abuse occurs in all parts of the world and can happen in any sector of society, in homes, marriages and partnerships, schools, work places, on streets, within faith groups and cultures etc., and to individuals of all ages and genders. Whether the form is mental, physical, or emotional, the experience can result in wounding and severe trauma, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It remains to be worked through and made sense of. Often, victims might plague themselves with questions such as: Was it my fault? Am I to blame? Did I do something wrong? Why was I not stronger? Who would believe me? In the words of Gisele, "shame must change sides".

A smile, caring words signalling that I get you, I understand, can temporarily restore a sense of dignity. This may bring some relief from feelings of loss, worthlessness, and ugliness. Knowing that you can speak freely, will be believed, and acknowledged can bring a sense of release.

If any of this resonates with you, when you are able and ready to, know that there is a safe, non-judgemental, compassionate space awaiting you.

You are welcome to contact me at any time.

info@clearperspectivespsychotherapy.com

This can be seen in all professions, which have their own personas, to which individuals adapt to fit into their roles, culture, and environment of the workplace. However, it is key to consider whether you might be losing your individuality. In this context, can you see correlations with your occupations and how you conduct yourself? Is it an accurate reflection of who you think you are, and if not, why not? Perhaps little or no adaptation was necessary to assimilate. If so, can this be attributed to preexisting adaptation when growing up, or is it your true nature?

The ultimate premise of a mask, like a masquerade, is to conceal or deceive. However, it is not to be perceived as all negative. Closely linked are the impressions of self, which one purposefully radiates to the external world. These social personas are necessary for functioning in various environments. For example, masks can be adopted for the performance of existing roles, for acceptability, adaptation, and integration into society and different social settings. 

You might want to reflect on what has shaped you. For example, family, culture, class, education, religion, social media, and so on. What are the positives and the hindrances? Have you ever felt that you would like to do things differently? Does conforming to please others and trying to live up to their expectations feel like a burden?

If you are at a crossroads and would like my help in understanding yourself better, do get in touch.

info@clearperspectivespsychotherapy.com

Attending lectures, assignments and deadlines, extra reading around a subject, and exams are all part and parcel of this journey. Add to that academic rigour, keeping up with fellow students, budgeting finances, living independently, trying to establish friendships, being part of societies, and balancing work and a social life can take its toll.

Some of you Undergraduates might be struggling with being away from home for the first time and for a long period of time, especially if you have opted to study far away. Additionally, the realisation that when you were at school, you were considered extremely capable, and now having to grapple with the fact that you are now surrounded by many, many students who are equally able or more advanced. This can be a source of distress.

Postgraduate students can also experience all of the above, but some of you might have families with you, and the demands of studies and family life can prove tricky.

As a mature student, you might feel awkward at first trying to connect and fit in with much younger people on your course. Though this does not necessarily have to be the case. 

As an overseas student, you may be unfamiliar with living in the UK, and it might be your first visit. For some of you, this might take a bit of getting used to. The fact that you are far away from family and friends, and the familiar, can be daunting, yet exciting at the same time.

Do get in touch if you can see parallels.

info@clearperspectivespsychotherapy.com

'Slow down' advice, we often hear, whether it be in the guise of a well meaning source, a yoga class, a mindfulness app or podcast, or echoes from a piece of literature. But, what does it really mean? Yes, you hear and see the words, and you cognitively understand it on a surface level, or perhaps, once upon a time, you experienced it, embraced it, and have memories of this state. At worst, when we struggle to meet the seemingly constant demands of daily life, the concept of slowing down can either appear as something we cannot grant to ourselves at present, or we yearn for it in bigger ways. For example, the grand retreat, luxurious vacation, an elegant spa weekend, or whatever appeals.

However, this much sought, needed, welcomed, or resisted way of being can appear when we least expect it. I, for one, recently attended an Imperial Japanese Matcha tea making ceremony workshop. I held no prior expectations or preconceived ideas of what might await me, other than always wanting to witness this precise art being overseen by a true Grand Master. Amidst the elegance, poise, grace, and deliberately slow movements and careful precision, my body and mind in that moment had an awareness of slowing down. The exercise induced an unexpected stillness. This stark contrast could not be attributed to prior rushing around. The experience has remained with me so much so that I deemed it worthwhile to share. What activities do you engage in that have a similar effect? They might have been past pursuits that you might wish to return to, or perhaps they are to be discovered in unexpected ways.

Burnout does not always appear as exhaustion. For many high performers, it can manifest as irritability, emotional numbness or detachment, and a fading sense of purpose. 

If you are exploring therapy for personal or professional growth, you are welcome to get in touch.

info@clearperspectivespsychotherapy.com

This fast approaching season will inevitably have a different meaning to each of you. Regardless of this fact the word 'forward' seems fitting, whether it be in the context of looking or going. However, I acknowledge that for some of you this concept might not be accompanied with instant thoughts of joy, but rather with trepidation. Looking forward to something or going forward does not mean either that all problems or concerns diminish. Moreover, how can Spring aid you? 

Warmer days, longer daylight hours, a shedding of heavy Winter clothing for lighter more colourful attire appears symbolic. It presents an opportunity to be kind to yourself. Take advantage of the sun's friendship, it is a beneficial resource. Absorb its natural Vitamin D, allow it to peak serotonin (feel good hormone) levels and enhance your mood and energy levels, regulate sleep patterns, reduce stress and anxiety, and more.

Greater observation plays its part too, a marvellous distraction when feeling low. For many weeks my attention has been drawn to the sound of birds noisily and merrily chirruping away at all hours. New leaves at their tiniest on trees, blossoms visible, Spring flowers with offerings of splendid hue, daisies and dandelion flowers networking on green verges for your gaze and mine.

Do contact me if you feel that I can be of assistance to you on your journey for change and renewed hope. 

info@clearperspectivespsychotherapy.com